First, thank you all for the generosity of your time and attention in visiting this website.  It means a lot to me that you’re reading.  Amidst the many valuable investments you could be choosing with your time, you’re investing it here.  I aim to give you a stunning return on that investment, in insight that can help make your life a better, freer, more insightful, powerful, and loving.  If this is not a fit for you, I hope you find whatever brings you to wholeness.  Yet through it all, I remain very thankful for the opportunity to share my reality and time with you all.  Your time on this Earth is so valuable.  May you spend it well and achieve your heart’s desire.

Through the vessel of this website, it is my pleasure to openly share some of my background, experiences, and ambitions with you, without filter, in this safe space for exploration and discovery.  I hope to learn from you all as well and will make myself available to answer your questions, discuss any angle of my experience, and facilitate discussion of the topics which animate us in the directions which we are choosing to take our lives.  I am very much a work in progress, and while I am not perfect and have much to learn, I also have a lot to share which I believe to be of benefit.  I have climbed quite a bit from the valley floor, and while I cannot yet see the peak, I have charted a course for the climb ahead.  I’d like to tell you a bit more about my life thus far, and where it’s headed in the years to come.

At 30 years old, I am still considered a young man by the standards of American society.  I have also had an incredibly unconventional life thus far. After attending college at NYU, I recovered from two serious mental breakdowns in my early 20s which warped my life path irrevocably far from convention.  The first was an episode of major depression at 21 following my first dose of magic mushrooms in Amsterdam and the second was mania after I learned how to meditate and tap into my sexual energies at 22.  I titrated myself off of psychotropic medication at 23 and have not been on medications for seven years now.  From 23 to 25, I developed a strict diet, exercise regimen, and have spent time with various spiritual teachers of wildly different traditions, incorporating several esoteric practices to balance the flux of energies within me.  I traveled to China, where I began a practice of sexual sublimation and energetic circulation, then traveled to Thailand and Indonesia in pursuit of tantric teachers.  I was convinced that my mental breakdowns were an improperly executed spiritual awakening, and with the right teacher, I could fulfill my potential as a being.

The consummation of this search was that, from 26 through 28, I was a member of an energetically intense, emotionally violent cult based in Bali, Indonesia.  I experienced energies far beyond the pathological highs and lows that I had experienced before. I learned about myself in new ways and discovered my susceptibility to authoritarian spiritual leaders.  Towards the end, when communicating with the leader, my eyes would burn and I got a stabbing pain in my liver.  I left the cult finally when my entire digestive system shut down, dropping my weight from 175 to 135 pounds. I had to leave Bali for medical reasons and was fortunate to have left when I did, as the harsh emotional conditions of the cult were beginning to impact my physical body and the wisdom I carried through the world.  There is a profound silver lining to this dark chapter of my life: I learned about the nature of mind control, and how the mind can be reclaimed from authoritarian hierarchies, to enable myself and others to think and feel fully as free beings once more after being in a contorted state.

In a twist of incredible good fortune, I parlayed my connections in the cult to a job in finance in one of Wall Street’s most prestigious value investment firms.  I received the job offer in February 2014 on the same day that my bank account dipped into the negative.  I had been living out of my car and working at an organic dairy farm in North Carolina while studying prerequisites for nursing school.  From 28 to 30, I rose to become a full analyst with the firm, researching internet companies in Brazil, China, Europe, and Southeast Asia. Before this, I had no prior finance background.

Through the pressures I have endured and overcome, as well as the opportunities I have seized along the way, I have learned a great deal about the human psychological and energetic systems.  I have come back from major depression and bipolar disorder, and have thrived in a high-pressure finance job.  My creative capacity continues to grow, as does my energetic capacity.  The energies, states, and creative induction which I have cultivated within myself are now naturally spreading outwards into the world.  I have regained the ability to communicate directly with the energy of other beings, initiating others into deeper experience of reality, and sharing my creative fruits to generate more value in the world.  This website is one such fruit.

It may seem strange at first, but that energy which I have tapped into and cultivated powers all facets of my life, from finance to fandango.  I currently balance myself through a combination of work and exercise, with burlesque dancing, improvised piano, writing, and freestyle rap currently fulfilling my creative impulses, and rounding out my personality.  Through my job, I have the opportunity to travel internationally on a monthly basis, and I have experienced a wide variety of cultures and consciousnesses on five continents.

Through opening to energy and the union of opposites, everything about my identity has gradually shifted towards greater openness and freedom.  This includes both my professional, creative, and sexual expression.  I identify as pansexual and am developing my capacity for sex magic, which I experience as the blending of active and receptive polarities to unlock massive amounts of energy and potential for transformation.  At this stage of my development, I can experience active or receptive sexual stimulation without physical contact or removing clothes and can experience the orgasms of my partner through my energy body.

I am an active student of the perennial philosophy and an avid practitioner of hermetic and tantric alchemy.  I am currently developing a nine-point process of Alchemy to make the elements of this practice accessible to a beginning practitioner. It will detail the way I harness and transform my experiences into fuel for my continued development.  

 

I desire to actively share this system as a gift to the world, as I have seen far too many students following teachers and systems which only address a fraction of the potential for human transformation, claiming to comprise the whole.  I believe that human spiritual development is a necessity for our development and continued evolution as a species and I desire to give as many people access to transformational information as possible.

 

As energy moves out into the world, we can choose to direct it to change the fabric of reality itself.  The more concentrated that energy is, and the more people we reach out to, the greater that effect can be.  From the base of this site, I intend to further three causes in the world.

The causes which I intend to devote my life to are the spread of alchemy into consensus reality, women’s empowerment, and mental health advocacy.

First, I believe that spreading working knowledge of a coherent system of alchemy is the most important gift I can give to the world. I believe it is incredibly important for all beings to have access to their own energies, without paying an internal tax to cultural, religions, or thought-created middlemen, which sap individual’s abilities to create their own reality, and become their own bliss.  100% of people can benefit from a greater understanding of their inner realities.  The practice, development, and explanation of this system of alchemy thus makes up the main thrust of my work in the world.

I also believe women’s empowerment is a necessity for our continued development as a civilization.  Women make up over 50% of the population, and everyone on earth has a masculine and feminine pole within themselves.  That I am male is irrelevant to this necessity, and my position in the male-dominated finance industry can help shift this balance more quickly than an individual outside its framework.  To enact lasting change in women’s empowerment as a culture, it is necessary to balance our outer and inner realities at the same time.  As we as a society empower women to come into full flower, we can also shift the balance of active and receptive poles within ourselves.  This work on balancing the active and receptive poles is essential to the ancient art of alchemy, and so is inherently compatible with my work on bringing the Great Work of alchemy to greater awareness.

 

I strongly believe that the coming age of humanity will bring an equality between the sexes and the poles of active and receptive behavior.  I believe that for the past 6,000 years, the receptive pole has been dominated and subjugated by the active pole and that we are in the advancing stages of the receptive pole throwing off this conditioning and seizing its sovereignty.  This rebirth of the sacred feminine is leading to a rebirth of certain energetic streams in this reality, which we can harness and unlock to grow independent of the male-dominated authoritarian hierarchies which unfortunately still dominate the globe.  Through my interactions with society, I aim to further and help facilitate the transition from authoritarian patriarchal hierarchy to an equanimous balance in leadership between genders, and between active and receptive poles.

 

Finally, I believe that what many diagnose as mental imbalance is very often a symptom of a developing, evolving edge for in human evolution.  Mental imbalances affect as much as 25% of the United States population within their lifetimes, yet these are often threshold experiences which are a forced, multiple-months-long vision quest.  If these processes are allowed to continue with the guidance of a teacher of integrity, they can be an inescapable initiation into the path of the shaman and healer.  I believe that overmedication has left our society with a deficiency of see-ers and medicine wo(men) and that this death of see-ers has thus diminished our collective capacity to envision a better world.  I aim to shift this balance and to gain more advocacy for mental balance within my lifetime.  As I can move between the poles of mania and depression, harvesting the fruits of both, I have a unique ability to advocate against the stigma facing ‘mental imbalance’ within myself and transform it in society overall.  

 

[A brief aside: The reason mental health advocacy is my third priority is that the current stigma against mental imbalance is so weighty, the fear of it in individuals’ lives so pronounced, that I will require an immense amount of social proof to even address this topic in public.  Many powerful forces in this world, such as the pharmaceuticals lobby, still view mental imbalance as a lifetime, debilitating disorder which resists any internal cure and requires expensive, and debilitating medication.  Because the fear of depression and madness are cemented in the shadow side of our collective emotional bodies, it is an unpopular topic for conversation and costs me opportunities for advancement any time it is brought up without proper preparation. Unlike women’s empowerment, which grants social proof in its mentioning, mental imbalance generally detracts from the speaker’s social standing.  The unpopularity of this cause, and the subconscious fear it generates in would-be advocates, means that there is incredibly ripe soil to be worked here.  However, my advocacy will put me in contact with some of the most extreme mental currents known to man.  Even as I must gain social proof before addressing this individually, I must continue to craft my alchemical vessel on every level in order to reach those with deep mental imbalances and stay my own course.]  

 

I aim for these three causes: the spread of alchemy, women’s empowerment, and radical mental health advocacy, to comprise the three pillars of my public life path.  In stating this openly, I summon the currents into my reality which can bring these worthy aims into fruition.

This has been said before, by many many others, and I will say it again, as it cannot be said enough: I deeply desire for all beings to be liberated into their greatest freedom, energy, intelligence expression, and love.  I desire my life to be a vessel for this transformation in myself and others.  I realize that my life is unconventional, and so I desire to communicate my experience of reality as clearly and directly as possible, so that I can connect with, learn from, and love as many people as possible.  I am on a journey of discovery, and believe that we never reach the mountaintop – we continue going, growing, and spiraling endlessly into greater heights, broader reaches, and deeper depths.  Through it all, I am delighted to be continuing the journey, and as ever, I am excited to learn from your experiences in the process.  Let’s come together and share from the edge of our experience of life, and perhaps a step beyond what we hold as possible, or even real.  

 

May this website serve our becoming into love.

 

My best to you all,

Duncan Bradford Horst

 

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